Game 9 vs Law Vultures (won 27-5)

Our game against the Law Vultures was quite easily one of the better watches of 2013. If CGW were to run a highlights reel of the game it would go for two full episodes without ads. The reel would start and end with Mini Brown-teef lighting up a Winny red, feature Big Brown-teef running over top of countless rucks in his red band gumboots, Cheese opting not to use his arms in a spot tackle resulting in ten minutes in the bin and Rat taking a high ball over his head with two mitts and running it back into traffic with the seed in one mitt, high knees going flat stick and fending the Vultures off like flies. Naturally Glen Ballam would make up the remainder of the reel given he peeled off upwards of 2000 yards with pill in hand for the match. The man takes a very simple approach to his footy. When the Gherkin comes into his possession, he tucks it under his wing and runs fast, fucking fast. Should an opponent break the line, he chases them down, tackles them, grabs the gherkin and runs fast, fucking fast. The kid knows the science of rugby and I trust we will see him slicing threw defensive patterns at Stag Park in the near future. A very convincing win to say the least and the third on the trot for the Dev Reds!!

Swede of the Week: Sam Brown (brown-teefs hearty younger breather) for dotting down on debut and tackling like a man possessed.
2 points: Rat
1 point: Ballam
LVP: Basin – hung-over? I think pigeon hearted is a better diagnostic.

Game 8 v PE Hard Men (won 17-10)
With Premier rugby all wrapped up for the year the Verses were on the hunt for some class acts to throw a spanner in the works of the social comp.  Talent came in the form of  Christian Cullen prodigy Glen Ballam, the returning Tiaki Cameron after a one year sabbatical and James Hargest’s finest; Mana Wright. All three played instrumental roles in knocking the ‘Hard Men’ of their perch. With a thirty plus Verses squad stripped and ready for battle, fresh legs and lungs were in abundance which were much needed given that the average stint the average Verses player will spend on the paddock per quarter is somewhere between 4 and 6 minutes (this figure is even smaller if the average player indulges in a few tins of soup on the Friday night). Its fair to say that Glen Ballam sits in the upper quartile of the box and whisker plot and is by no means your ‘average’ Verses player. This freak of nature managed to weave his way around all 15 hard men and run 80 metres on his way to his maiden 5 pointer of his 2013 season. Given the up front physicality of the match Mana Wright and Teriyaki Cameron were an addition to Big C’s forward pack that was greatly appreciated. While Mana spent his day crushing any opponent who chose to run with pill in hand, TC was turning over about as much ball at the break down that Mason does cash on a Saturday night when a touring dub-step outfit come to town. Going into the final quarter with a two-point lead, the call was made to keep it in the tight and roll as many mauls as we could. A line-out in our attacking 22 seen one such maul result in a match sealing try. As big Will made light work of biffing the Rat sky high to receive a crisply thrown gherkin by Basin, every red jersey on the paddock latched on to one of the most pleasant sights Logan Park has witnessed all season, a slow moving 15 man maul. All 15 Verses were inside the goal before the try was scored! Outstanding stuff from all involved.  The remainder of Saturday was spent at the Pantry on Castle where a six beer bong was enjoyed by most.

Swede of The Week: Keeno
2 Points: G Bal
1 Point: TI-AKI CAM-E-RON!
LVP: Butters Bailey

After a long break from the footy field the veins were itching to slip into the newly purchased devil red jerseys. Thankfully for a few punters we were graced with the late game to brush off some dust thanks to a few too many Pinot’s the previous night curiosity of Phil Mulv. A combination of newly purchased kit, 21st birthday celebrations and the prospect of pissing all over the odd pricks from Selwyn had the lads buzzing with excitement. With a game full of highs, nothing was more entrenching than the work from the skinniest man on the pitch.  Armed with a newly acquired cranium protector, Rat showed what it is all about to bear the Verses jumper. Opening the scoring in the first quarter, with the enemy at the gates, Rat pounced on a sloppy pass in the centres to run 80 meters and dot down under the sticks. The boys were lifted in the second quarter with a blustering run up the guts by the newly signed giant Mana Wright, clearing the path and short-term memory of the Selwyn team. This allowed Rat to pounce over top of the ruck, extending the score line out to 10 - zilch. Using the momentum from the forwards and an inspiring vain of form, Rat soon powered over for his Hat trick. 

The second half saw some of their best defence of the season, helped by the devil on our chest and Mark ‘Speight’s’ Weaner’s in his 4th guest appearance of the season we were able to hold the Selwyn freshers off to clinch a 15-10 win.

The lads were absolutely hissing to get a win first game back, and celebrated accordingly, with a three star in hand.

Churtle

Bo Rabbitt

Swede of the Week: Rat
2 Points: Mana ‘Friendly Giant’ Wright
1 Point: Will Ward
LVP: Tom ‘no show’ McKay